There was a time when I planned my Halloween costume months in advance. That time was grade school. Now, Halloween costumes have been added to the ever-growing section of procrastinatable (it’s a word now) items on my to do list, joining the esteemed company of laundry, dishes, and booking flights. I’m so great at procrastinating I wish I could add it to my resume: Proficient in procrastination. See? I’ve even procrastinated getting to the point of this post. So. Good.
As I was saying, Halloween is this Sunday and if you’re at all like me, you’re just starting to think about a costume for your party or trick-or-treating this weekend (I personally trick-or-treated through college. Free chocolate and an excuse for excessive glitter usage? No way I would pass that up.) Well fret no longer! Here are some suggestions for some quick and easy Urchin-approved Halloween costumes. Whether you decide on one now or thirty minutes before leaving the house Saturday night, they’re sure to be a hit.
A Confederacy of Dunces. This costume is incredibly fast and simple, but will impress and amaze all your most literary friends. Just get together a group of friends and all wear dunce caps. John Kennedy Toole would be proud, and so would we. Bonus points for using recycled and recyclable materials to make your dunce caps! Try scrap paper or the inside of a cereal box.
Looking for a spooky costume this year? Then go as the Red Scare! Simply dress all in red, draw the ol’ star and sickle on your shirt (or anywhere on your body), and carry around a copy of Marx and Engel’s Communist Manifesto. Another idea is to carry around a piece of paper all night and suspiciously write down people’s names. Bonus points if your blacklist can actually be on black paper. You can also sneak up on people and say ‘boo.’ Do your duty, Red Scare!
Spending Halloween with your parents this year? Why not get together with your mum for the super creepy, yet totally literary, costumes of Oedipus and his mummy dearest Jocasta? All you’ll need is a crown and some fake blood dripping from your eyes. Draping sheets will do as ancient Greek robes. Bonus points if you can get your dad to be the ghost of Laius with a stab wound bleeding through his toga. This idea would even work for a trio of friends, just add some age make up to Jocasta and Laius.
Dances with Wolves. Only two basic items are needed here: a ballroom dancing outfit, and wolves. A dress, tights, and heels would suffice for ballroom dancing attire. So would inappropriately tight pants, shiny shoes, and a snug button-up shirt opened to mid-chest. Bonus points for any hair gel or spray tan. Taping stuffed animal wolves all over yourself would complete the costume. Twirling about all night surely couldn’t hurt either. Alternately, you could achieve a similar effect by dressing as Kevin Costner and taping wolves all over yourself. Throw on heels if you’re feeling risky.
Virginia Woolf. Take one prosthetic schnoz, add a long dress, some pointy-toed shoes or boots, a loose bun and BAM! You’re a literary genius for the night. You can also carry around a copy of one of her classics, like Mrs. Dalloway or A Room of One’s Own. That way, you have reading material handy if the party ends up being a dud. Bonus points for a trench coat with some rocks in the pockets. Too soon? Nah. Thanks, The Hours!
Hope these help, fellow procrastinators! Be sure to check back this weekend, especially Sunday, for an extra special Halloween treat from the Urchins!